Are There Any Good Pesto-Pasta Jokes Or Puns?

Red curtains at a comedy show.

Every industry sector has its own cringeworthy jokes, and sadly, we're no exception. Welcome to pesto-pun heaven. Please don’t ever use them in our presence, as we suffer from second-hand embarrassment, and if we hear them out loud, we just want the world to swallow us up.

The only remotely funny pesto joke

"Martha Stewart is getting out of prison so today the terror alert was raised from orange to pesto."
David Letterman

Terrible pasta and pesto jokes

Q: What did the basil say to the chef?
A: Stop PESTO-ing me!

Q: My girlfriend spent $40 on a pesto pasta dish.
A: It was worth every penne.

Q: What do you call an Italian fortune teller with a negative outlook on the future?
A: A pesto-mystic

Q: What is the best pasta for pesto sauce?

A: It depennes on your taste.

Q: What do you give pasta when it is sick?
A: Pesto-bismol.

Q: I started to grow a herb patch, but the basil is refusing to grow
A: It's being such a pesto.

Q: My dad asked me not to let the cat eat the leftover pesto. I said cats don't even like pesto.
A: He replied, "I wouldn't put it pasta".

Terrible pasta and pesto puns

I want to make pesto, but I’m running out of thyme!
Pasterly, the worst pasta pun ever.
The pesto's yet to come!
Hey pesto!
Every day is pasta day!
Duct tape and pasta are alike. They fix everything.
For he's a jolly good pesto.
Eat the spaghetti. Forget your regretti.
Pesto is the besto!
Pesto is the quiche of the 80s