Is Pesto A Woke Food?

Snowflake, a derogatory term for a woke person

Short answer
A list of woke foods compiled by the New Zealand-based website The Spinoff states that pesto is considered woke, along with any cheese that isn't Cheddar, any crisps that aren't salt and vinegar, and any beans that don't come from a tin.

Long answer
Steak, donuts, and chips are among the least woke foods on the planet, at least according to The Spinoff, a New Zealand-based website that covers popular culture, society, and politics.

They compiled a definitive list of woke foods in response to the outspoken politician David Seymour's pledge to knock $107 million off the school lunch budget, largely by no longer serving any foods that he considers woke, such as quinoa, hummus, and sushi.

While Seymour didn't single out pesto specifically, we had a hunch that it would make The Spinoff's list. Its inclusion means it joins the likes of avocado, couscous, and oat milk as foods that should never pass the lips of any self-respecting, lager-swilling, Pukka Pie-eating gammon. At least unless they don't want to be called "sissy" by their florid-faced Wetherspoon acquaintances.

Apparently, though, there is a way to eat pesto without falling foul of the laws of wokeness. Providing you eat it "wrapped in at least two kinds of meat," you can enjoy it without risk of ritual humiliation.

We're not quite sure how some of the least woke places on earth get away with selling pesto, but Greggs, Asda, and McDonalds somehow get a free pass.

The world's gone mad.